Why Nightlight is Hilarious.

Twilight Summary:

About three things I was absolutely positive.

 First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him- and I didn't know haw dominate that part might be- that thirsted for my blood.  

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Nightlight Summary:

About three thins I was absolutely certain.

 First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.

Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control- that wanted me dead.

And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, genealogically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.

These are the summary's that are on the backs of both Nightlight and Twilight. And this is pretty much the what the whole book does: it makes fun at Stephine Meyer's writing, some characteristics that Bella/Belle possesses, and how weird and unusually and not real Bella/Belle and Edward's/Edwart's relationship is. If you have read the first Twilight book I think the book would be a lot funnier than if you haven't read it because there are a lot of little inside joke things that you would only catch if you had read the book. For example, in Twilight Charlie (Bella's dad) can't really cook very well, so in Nightlight they take that little trait to the extreme. They literally make him seem like an infant and he doesn't even know how to put a bowl of cereal together. They also make fun of how Bella's kinda of clumsy and they take that trait to the extreme.

The Beginning of the End

This is for Taylor (and anyone else who enjoys Twilight for that matter and can't wait till Breaking Dawn) I know you love Twilight, and this kinda sums up the whole saga pretty nicely. Only 15 days left!:) Oh I also have no idea if anyone seen this but I'm hoping not.

Close Reading Bingo

Four Common Weaknesses

Weakness: 1. Avoid "he says" quote introductions.

• "His strange admiration is expressed with metaphors like "the free-standing kind: a pair of integral signs swooping upward" and "a temporary, steeper escalator of daylight" which help make a mental picture of the escalators as well as give an appreciation for the escalators." My Everyday Sticky Waffle 

Weakness: 2. Don't use a long quotations the subject of a sentence.

• "'On sunny days like this one, a temporary, steeper escalator of daylight, formed by intersections of the lobby's towering volumes of marble and glass, met the real escalators just above their middle point, spreading into a needly area of shine where it fell against their brushed-steel side-pannels, and adding long glossy highlights to each of the black rubber handrails" By using such imagery and specific details, one is able to clearly paint a picture of the lobby in their minds." TheyCallMeFreshMoney

Weakness: 6. Avoid  the verbs "uses" and "shows".

•  "His use of connotation suggests a picturesque vision of his apperance while walking through the lobby."  T-Rex

Weakness: 8. Punctuation goes inside quotation marks.

• "Baker describes his surroundings as "towering volumes of marble and glass" and "long glossy highlights to each of the black rubber handrails"." To Kill a Mockingjay

Best Diction Analysis

• "In the excpert from the Mezzanine, Nicholson Baker uses an intricate, buisness-like language which helps describe an everyday morning at the office. The connotative figurtive language assists the refined wording by adding descriptive variety throughout the prompt. With the use of his realistic descriptions, the promt was easily visualized. "Towering volumes of marble and glass" is what he saw as the lobby, which creates a clear, yet abstract vision. Writing with a language that is not quite fancy but is elevated, Baker also seems to have connotataion mixed in making his writing clinical, and elaborate." Peanut Butter Without the Jelly

Practice Diction Analysis

Nicholson Baker's formal and straight forward language conveys a lifeless, cold depiction of the escalator's centered in the lobby of his work place. Baker describes his surroundings as "towering volumes of marble and glass" and "long glossy highlights to each of the black rubber handrails". This gives the impression of a fancy an intimidating lobby. Also, the matter of fact way Baker describes the lobby makes the reader sense that this is somewhere to not be impressed with, its an everyday occurrence.

Right Now. . .

In honor of the past three rainy days, lets hope its sunny this weekend.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon

Pages This Week: 173

Pages All Together: 1271

1. "The characters speak in colloquial language, using words such as "silly," "darling chicken-flower," and "wop." The language is humble, but it is suggestive of the culture and personality of the characters." - Keep It Classy
2. "Adair's passage is more of a in-your-face type of writing. She says things like "She was in ready position, but frozen like a deer in headlights, sniper rifle silent, and useless, in her hands." To me, that just seems more of a "Hey! Here it is!!!" type of writing." - Twilight
3. "In Neil Gaiman's Stardust, the rocky terrain and harmonious forest create a high sense of tranquility as one observes the town of Wall." - The Blog of Epic Proportions
4. "Picturesque and somewhat blunt all at once, Dostoevsky describes a man walking down a street in a sensuous, tangible string of words that sets an automatic environment for the scene at hand." - Look Up... (Now!)
5. "He talks about the sheeps grazing on the out skirts which is sweet and calming" - J-Momma

My two favorite are Keep it Classy and Look Up... (Now!). I love "The language is humble. . " I've never really heard language described like that before. I also like "... tangible string of words" the Look Up Now uses, I just love the word tangible.

 

Nightlight

I've started Nightlight by Harvard Lampoon. Its a parody of the Twilight Saga books and its super hilarious and stupid so far. Now I really love the Twilight Saga a lot, and I don't mind if people make extremely hilarious jokes about it, but I hate it when people rag on it for no reason when they haven't even read the books and all they've seen is just five minutes of one of the movies. However, this book stars Belle Goose an extremely socially awkward seventeen year-old who moves to her dads house in Switchblade, Oregon. Shes very "in to herself" and think all the guys at school like her and super spacey and dense. She soon meets Edwart Mullen a nerd who has no interest in girls. Immediately Belle thinks Edwart is something supernatural and also thinks that Edwart is really into her but he really is showing no interest. Soon after a couple of days at the new school Belle notices strange things about Edwart Mullen like he shielded her for a snow ball and didn't eat his tator tots at lunch so of course there is no other explanation he has to be a vampire.

Now the some of the jokes in this book are super humorous like when Belle receives a u-haul truck from her dad and is absolutely ecstatic, this of course is making fun of how excited Bella was when she got the oldest red pick-up truck imaginable from her dad in the real Twilight. Also, there are a lot of extremely random little things that Belle always bursts out and does, this is poking fun at the real Bella's personality and taking it to the extreme and its very funny. Now this is a super fast book to read, its only a hundred and fifty-four pages long, so if you love or hate Twilight and want some stupid random books you should totally read this book.

Never Let Me Go: The End

Tommy and Kathy want to get deferrals to live together with no donations for a couple of year by themselves. They go and find Madame to see if the rumors are true and to see if they can receive these deferrals. They both meet with her and find that none of this is true they can't have a few years off together and they have to go back to giving donations and being a carer. While they were there talking with her they discovered much more about what their lives truly were and they meant to the public around them. These true facts about their lives didn't help either Tommy or Kathy and soon Tommy had to give his fourth donation (which is usually their last before they complete/die). Tommy wants Kathy to quit being his carer because he doesn't want her to see him like that. so she does as he asks and just months after Tommy's fourth donation she finds out that he had died. The book ends with Kathy now ended being a carer and started giving her donations holding on to her memoirs of Hailsham, Ruth, and Tommy and moving on with her life.